When it comes to holding doors for strangers walking behind me, I've observed a few fine lines.
*December 4, 2007
(All solutions are based on strangers' reactions and my perception of their reactions and are not necessarily my true intentions, reflective of me as a person, or even my desired outcome. But I give you my word that I have learned all of these the hard way.)
A. Female stranger walking 1 to 5 feet behind me + I hold the door = I am a nice person.
B. Male stranger walking 1 to 5 feet behind me + I hold the door = I enjoy emasculating men. Am also a nice person, but in a threatening way.
C. Female stranger walking 1 to 5 feet behind me + I fail to hold the door = I am a jealous bitch.
D. Male stranger walking 1 to 5 feet behind me + I fail to hold the door = I am a delicate flower whose door should be caught and held for her.
E. Female stranger walking 5 to 7 feet behind me + I hold the door = I am an extra nice person. Also best friend potential depending on the female's age.
F. Male stranger walking 5 to 7 feet behind me + I hold the door = I am hitting on said stranger regardless of the male's age.
G. Female or male stranger walking 5 to 7 feet behind me + I fail to hold the door = I am an asshole.
H. Female or male stranger walking 7 or more feet behind me + I hold the door = I am a creep.
I. Female or male stranger walking 7 or more feet behind me + I fail to hold the door = I have good common sense.
Findings:
1. The more feet are involved, the less gender matters.
2. Women are more accepting of an open door.
3. Men assume that whether or not I hold the door is a complex decision tailored specifically to them.
4. 5 and 7 feet are very grey areas. Case in point: I. happens only on a good day. More often than not a potential I. turns into a G. Probably because I can't visually distinguish between 5 and 7 feet. In these sticky situations, I usually go with H. Because at the end of the day I'd rather be a creep than an asshole.
5. I never commit C. Except that one time.
6. I commit D. only when I'm holding lots of things. Or not paying attention.
Gah, this is such an issue. EVERY SINGLE DAY I battle with my thoughts about whether I should hold the door. I generally end up doing it, which is kind of awkward when I'm trying to pull off the "I'm trying to look like I'm not holding open the door, though I totally am and you are 15 feet away, and so my foot does the dirty work" look. It's pathetic, really.
- Posted by chirky | December 4, 2007 8:48 PM
I loved this blog. And it's not just a "young" person thing, either. I still struggle w/ what is considered being a good person & making the old man or woman behind me speed up in order to not hold me up or letting go of the door and looking like a rude asshole. What to do?
- Posted by Alice | December 5, 2007 8:25 AM
i hold the doors because hey if i want a job around here i have to suck-up.
- Posted by M | December 5, 2007 8:38 AM
Classic... I general speed walk to open up at least a 10 foot gap. Otherwise its just uncomfortable regardless if you hold the door or not.
- Posted by Chad | December 5, 2007 9:12 AM
bravo. great post.
- Posted by sarah | December 6, 2007 9:01 AM
I loved this. I'm always shocked at how many people are uncomfortable by the door being held open for them. I want to reassure them it's no trouble, since you know, I've already exerted the strength to open it for myself (and now I will get the added bonus of boosting my karma), but so many people still seemed shocked. I almost feel like I should apologize sometimes. How sad is that?
- Posted by brandy | December 6, 2007 11:41 PM
Hey! Found you through Brandy!
Worse than anything... making that decision at around 7.5 feet to hold the door... then waiting there forever, making it awkward for both you and the holdee.
- Posted by Princess Pointful | December 7, 2007 2:17 AM
Also stopping by through Brandy!
The door situation can be a tricky one, indeed. Ha, I loved this. And so funny how the whole thing scenario changes with gender.
How about holding the door for someone in a wheelchair? Yeah, now that gets more involved. They think you're holding it because you feel bad for them, or, they can do it themself!, or... you're just doing it BECAUSE they are in a wheelchair. I could go on and on.
- Posted by brookem | December 7, 2007 8:45 AM
Again... found you through Brandy!
Great post... you nailed this!
- Posted by Dory | December 7, 2007 9:28 AM
Wow, the research involved here is impressive. I like this kind of post as it shows how we interact in real life. Well done. I'm very happy Brandy forced me to visit your blog today.
- Posted by egan | December 7, 2007 2:22 PM
hilarious post spring!!
- Posted by michelle and the city | December 12, 2007 9:35 AM