Drinking Lessons
*May 15, 2008
Because I did not drink in high school and only drank a little in college, I'm finally learning some very important life lessons. Albeit a little late. These are a few of them.
1. Do not play tennis and then drink margaritas unless your goal is to experience multicolored vomit.
2. Do not order anything at a bar called a Trucker Plate and then proceed to wash it down with lots of whiskey. Especially if you are not a trucker. Doubly especially if the Trucker Plate includes fried deviled eggs.
3. It's okay to refuse that third drink. Even if it's free. Maybe especially if it's free.
4. Remember that thing called peer pressure? It exists in places outside of high school, and most of those places are bars.
5. Just because a drink is cool does NOT mean it tastes good. Actually, most drinks that taste good are very uncool.
6. It's okay to order a drink that is uncool.
What are some of the lessons you've learned?
1.Don't mix beer and whiskey. If you do, you will see it again.
2.Shots were invented by the devil.
3.There is a serious "law of diminishing returns" with alcohol.
- Posted by Anonymous | May 16, 2008 8:15 AM
Fried deviled eggs? Ouch.
1. Don't drink champagne straight from the bottle- you'll end up drinking the whole thing before you know it.
2. The better the vodka, the less it tastes like vodka. And therefore you are more likely to forget you're drinking vodka and think no, that's just water.
3. No more than two flirtinis in one night.
- Posted by Deborah | May 16, 2008 9:24 AM
There are two important rules I have learned--(1) Never, EVER, EVER drink anything called a grape martini. It may sound good, and it is made with sugar-- but you will throw that stuff up. (2) Wear pants. I always show my underwear at the end of the night without pants.
Are friend deviled eggs even good?
- Posted by Sarah | May 16, 2008 12:32 PM
And by "friend" I meant "fried."
Although friend, you could make me some deviled eggs if you want. Yum.
- Posted by Sarah | May 16, 2008 12:38 PM
1) Jaeger=THE DEVIL.
2) If someone who drinks regularly tells you, someone who does not drink regularly, that you're maybe drinking a little too much? Back up off that fifth tequila shot, cowgirl, you will be passing out.
3)Some of the best guys I know swear by Midol for a hangover cure.
4) Sometimes, bars are more of a pain in the ass then they are worth. Especially if you are a girl who likes to wear uncomfortable shoes. Especially if, the last time you went to a bar, you asked a guy hitting on you what he did and his response was "I just got out of prison." (True Story!)
- Posted by ::laura:: | May 16, 2008 3:48 PM
I learned that most of the kids I knew that drank in high school are now overweight college dropouts. Maybe that's just an Arkansas thing.
My only rule is that I have to like it to drink it. I won't try it "just because". Bad idea!
- Posted by Katie | May 16, 2008 7:03 PM
What I learned:
Some people are prodigious drinkers and have an amazing tolerance for alcohol. Some people are not. Those people, like me, who are not, have no reason to feel ashamed of not being able to match the alcohol intake of the "professionals." Any fleeting wish to enter the competition ought to be crushed before it has time to move your hand to that shot glass.
David
- Posted by David | May 17, 2008 10:12 PM
Do not let the "professionals" (referenced by David) pressure you. If you are like me you are competitive. It is best to set your pride aside in the arena of alcohol. Let the "professionals" beat you at something.
There is only one kind of Tequila - the good kind. All others will make you sick as a dog.
- Posted by Kandace | May 20, 2008 1:49 PM
people are very impressed when little light-weight me downs jack daniels without a chaser and manages to stay up right the rest of the night. even big dudes with beards are amazed.
also, think wisely about shoe choice before going to the bar. weather, stairs, type of flooring...all can really make me wish i'd chose sneakers half way through the night.
- Posted by Sarah | May 28, 2008 5:00 PM